Sunday is Father’s day, and that probably means many of you are scrambling to find the perfect guy gifts for the dear old dads in your life. I asked the stylists to weigh in on some last minute suggestions, but they were too busy figuring out what to buy for their fathers. So here we are, staring paternal gifting in the face; and since I’m better at sipping from glasses that are half empty, I’d like to offer some suggestions on things your dad doesn’t want this Sunday.



Sports bottles- he already has a flask; so what’s the point? Unless he plans to smash it with a steam roller and see if it survives—which would be cool—I wouldn’t bother. Also, do you really want him fastening that thing to his belt loop and going out in public? No.

Chick Flicks on DVD- he was excited about that 50-something inch flat screen TV; but the chances that he wants to see Pretty Woman or Hope Floats in high-def are pretty slim. I, on the other hand, would like that very much.

Underwear- possibly necessary, but so awkward. I’m aware this bullet point is shorter than the others, but it speaks for itself.

A tie- he can barely dress himself, so a tie is like giving a poodle a Rubik's cube—you know you’ll end up adjusting it anyway. That, or you'll have to reign him in when he has the tie around his head pretending to be Geronimo--his choice.

High heels, purses, and shiny jewelry- Wait: I might be wrong on this one, because if YOU get enough heels and accessories, then he can get away with watching TV on your anniversary, playing golf on Christmas, and taking “business” trips on your birthday. The key word here is ‘enough’. Make it happen.

Richy T.-- Hope definitely floats.